Building Confidence and Overcoming Stage Fright
with Brett Cotter
Public speaking can be a daunting challenge, even for seasoned professionals. The fear of judgment or making a mistake in front of an audience can cripple confidence and hinder performance. In this blog post, we delve into the insights shared by Brett Cotter, a stress relief expert, during his enlightening conversation with Aleya Harris on overcoming stage fright and embracing authenticity to captivate audiences.
1. Understand the Root of Your Fear Stage fright isn't just about the fear of speaking; it's often tied to deeper insecurities about self-worth and fear of judgment. Brett Cotter emphasizes the importance of understanding these underlying fears. By acknowledging and addressing these fears directly, speakers can begin to dismantle them. Brett suggests meditation and mindfulness exercises as tools to explore these internal landscapes and to cultivate a state of calm and presence before taking the stage.
2. Build Confidence Through Preparation Preparation is key to building confidence. Brett advocates for a thorough understanding of your material and audience. This preparation goes beyond just knowing your speech; it involves understanding the needs and expectations of your audience and how best to address them. Preparation also includes rehearsing in environments similar to the one you'll be speaking in, which can significantly reduce anxiety.
3. Use Authenticity as a Tool for Connection Authenticity is a powerful tool for engaging an audience. When speakers are true to themselves, it resonates more deeply with listeners. Brett shares his personal journey towards incorporating his genuine self in presentations, which not only improved his confidence but also enhanced his audience's engagement. He encourages speakers to share personal stories and genuine emotions, which help to establish a stronger connection with the audience.
4. Physical Techniques to Alleviate Stress Brett also discusses physical techniques to help reduce stress and nervous energy before speaking. Simple breathing exercises, such as deep diaphragmatic breathing, can help regulate the body's response to stress. He also recommends physical activities, like stretching or yoga, to release tension and increase mental clarity.
5. Continuous Learning and Reflection Every speaking engagement offers a learning opportunity. Reflect on your performances to identify strengths and areas for improvement. Brett stresses the importance of continuous growth and adaptation in your speaking style, which can come from seeking feedback, watching recordings of your speeches, and studying other successful speakers.
Overcoming stage fright and becoming a more effective speaker is a journey of self-discovery and skill development. By employing Brett Cotter’s strategies—from understanding your fears to engaging authentically—you can transform your public speaking experiences into opportunities for growth and connection.
Podcast Overview
Join Aleya Harris as she welcomes Brett Cotter, a renowned stress relief expert, for an insightful conversation on overcoming stage fright and building confidence through authenticity. Brett shares his expertise and personal experiences, offering actionable tools that every speaker can use to conquer their fears and engage their audience authentically.
What You'll Learn:
Mastering Stage Fright: Uncover Brett's proven strategies for overcoming the anxiety and fear that come with public speaking.
Confidence Through Authenticity: Learn how embracing your true self can boost your confidence and make your presentations more powerful.
Practical Tools for Speakers: Brett provides practical exercises and techniques to prepare mentally and physically before stepping onto the stage.
Engaging Your Audience: Tips on using authenticity to forge a genuine connection with your audience, making your message more impactful.
Brett’s Journey to Confidence: Hear how Brett transformed his own approach to public speaking and how these lessons can apply to your speaking career.
Episode Highlights:
Brett Cotter recounts transformative experiences on stage that shifted his approach from fear to empowerment.
Discover the specific methods Brett employs to reduce stress and enhance performance, ensuring he presents with clarity and confidence.
Explore the psychological barriers to effective public speaking and how to dismantle them through authenticity.
About Brett Cotter
Brett Cotter, author of The Suicide Prevention Family Handbook, 3 Keys to Managing PTSD, and The Stress Is Gone Method, has 25 years experience helping clients process the most traumatic events of their lives. He has taught in Fortune 500 companies, hospitals, schools, military bases, and retreat centers such as the Omega Institute, Kripalu, Sivananda Bahamas, and the Himalayan Institute. Brett is the trauma expert for Meditation University’s teacher training program, he trains vet-to-vet peer specialists in his suicide prevention protocol, and certifies students remotely. He is the creator of the Stress Is Gone Wellness Platform and the PTSD Keys Mobile app. Brett’s programs are accredited by the International Mindfulness & Meditation Alliance, he is certified by American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, and his breathwork is certified by the American Institute of Stress.
Connect with Brett Cotter
https://www.instagram.com/stressisgone
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMdl_IAL3B6CQLlaWJB8kejFS40UdJMjK&si=br_8Ug9kF2dHhRce
https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B013KPEPIY
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DiXjpt9aB/?mibextid=wwXIfr
https://www.facebook.com/share/15B9KKYBXQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr
About Aleya Harris
Aleya Harris is the spark for your spark™. A trailblazer in purpose-driven story crafting, she is a marketing executive and ex-Google Vendor Partner who brings her dynamic experience to her role as the CEO of The Evolution Collective Inc. Aleya is an international award-winning speaker, the founder and lead trainer of Spark the Stage ™, and the host of the award-winning Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast. She is also the author of the bestselling book Spark the Stage: Master the Art of Professional Speaking and Authentic Storytelling to Captivate, Inspire, and Transform Your Audience. Her unique approach as a Strategic Storytelling Consultant has revolutionized the way businesses communicate, transforming workplace cultures and market positioning. With her dynamic energy and proven methodologies, Aleya guides clients to unlock their potential, articulate their radically authentic stories, and achieve unparalleled success.
Watch the Free Masterclass
Join Aleya's free masterclass "Build Unstoppable Confidence and Book Speaking Gigs Without Feeling Like an Impostor." Discover the proven framework to own your story, captivate audiences, and land speaking gigs—even if you’ve doubted your worth or have no experience on stage.
Register at https://www.aleyaharris.com/masterclass
Buy the Book
Aleya's bestselling book will help you become a more confident and authentic professional public speaker. Buy Spark the Stage: Master the Art of Professional Speaking and Authentic Storytelling to Captivate, Inspire & Transform Your Audience on Amazon or anywhere books are sold.
Buy the Book: https://a.co/d/1T4EoJ7
Sign Up for Spark the Stage™
Spark the Stage™ is an online course and 12-month group coaching program that helps entrepreneurs and executives become radically authentic professional public speakers who can confidently deliver a compelling Radical Spark Signature Talk™ from the stage.
Enroll at https://www.aleyaharris.com/spark
Work with Aleya to Craft a Better Story
An unclear strategy, confusing brand, or undefined workplace culture will repel ideal clients, visibility opportunities, and career-making connections. The Evolution Collective Inc. transforms disconnected teams and overwhelmed leaders into thriving, inclusive cultures through Radically Authentic Strategic Storytelling.
Schedule a call at https://www.evolutioncollective.com/
Book Aleya to Speak
To book Aleya to edutain your audience at your next event as a keynote speaker, please visit www.aleyaharris.com/speaking to check out her speaking topics, reels, and why. Click "Schedule a Call" to secure the speaker with "that something new" you've been looking for.
Connect with Aleya Harris
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aleyaharris/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aleyaharris/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thealeyaharris
Links Mentioned on this Podcast
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[00:01] Aleya Harris: Your body has a whole lot more to do with your speaking than I think you realize. We go through this world with the sense that our body is just this mechanical vessel to move our brain around.
[00:18] But it is so much more than that. It is what we channel with, what we connect with, where our emotions sit it. And often we don't give enough credence to what our body is doing and what our emotions within our body are doing.
[00:36] So then we end up with blockages and beliefs that trip us up and pains and dis ease and, I don't know, things like stage fright which feel like totally overwhelming, impossible to you.
[00:51] You can't even figure out how to move through them because they feel then they like they're a part of you. Like they are now a part of your body that is permanent.
[01:03] And I'm here to tell you the good news. That's not true, Heidi Ho. Not true at all. And today I get to speak with Brett Cotter, who is going to introduce us to his methodology that he has in his book, which is the Stress Is Gone, the Stress is Gone method.
[01:21] He's also the author of the Suicide prevention family handbook, Three Keys to Managing PTSD. And he has 25 years of experience helping clients process the most traumatic events in their lives.
[01:34] He's taught in Fortune 500 companies, hospitals, schools, military bases, retreat centers such as the Omega Institute, and on and on and on. And today he is blessed, blessing us on the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast by teaching here too.
[01:50] So if you are wanting to have very tangible, very real, very youthful techniques that work to beat stage fright and also to release some of those emotions that are causing you stress, dis ease and pain, then my friend, this episode, this is the episode for you.
[02:12] All right, let's go.
[02:17] Yuliya Patsay: Welcome to the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast with Alayah Harris.
[02:23] If you're looking for actionable ways to overcome communication and differentiation challenges by sharing radically authentic stories, you are in the right place. Listen in and learn how to stand in the power of your unique narrative to transform your personal life, business and workplace culture.
[02:44] And now, your host, award winning international speaker, strategic storytelling consultant and Japanese whiskey lover, Ruby Coral's mom, Alaia Harris.
[03:07] Aleya Harris: Hey Brett, thanks so much for joining us here on the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast. How you doing today?
[03:12] Brett Cotter: I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited.
[03:15] Aleya Harris: I'm excited to have you as well. Before we get into how you're going to help people bust through stage fright, well, I guess it's not really bust through. It's might be like A float through is probably a closer metaphor.
[03:29] Brett Cotter: Yeah.
[03:29] Aleya Harris: Can you give a very brief intro to who you are and what you do?
[03:33] Brett Cotter: Sure. I was born and raised in Queens, grew up with my brother John, with my mother, hard working single mom.
[03:42] Moved out to California right out of college.
[03:46] There is where I got into meditation, emotional healing, and went down the rabbit hole. I learned from a few very impactful teachers. A Shaolin grandmaster from China, a few other teachers that teach emotional healing techniques from around the world.
[04:01] And then by 2001, I, I came up with my own technique and I've been teaching it and facilitating retreats ever since.
[04:10] Aleya Harris: I love it. So it sounds like if anybody was going to help us beat through stage fright, you would be the one. That's what I'm hearing anyways. And stage fright is the, like the number one thing that I hear from people, like why they don't get on stage.
[04:26] So your words are going to be very impactful.
[04:30] Brett Cotter: Awesome. I'm really excited to share some of my techniques and I'm kind of a one trick pony. I help people let go of emotional tension from the body. That's my gift.
[04:41] I help people let go of old built up emotions from the body. So I feel like we're right on target with today's topic.
[04:48] Aleya Harris: Okay, well, now I already have additional questions that I didn't think I was going to have just from that little sentence.
[04:55] I try to make sure that everything is as understandable for every listener as possible. So one, why are the emotions in my body? And two, how do I get them out?
[05:07] And three, why do I want to get them out? What are the benefits for me for getting said emotions out of my body?
[05:15] Brett Cotter: Yeah. So why are they in there? If you think of a library, the body's the emotional library for everything you've went through and everything your ancestors have gone through, life locked away in your DNA.
[05:27] Okay. Not only stuff from this lifetime, but stuff from our grandparents. Grandparents all the way back. Right.
[05:34] So it's in there. It's in the body.
[05:36] Trends of emotions tend to pool in certain organs, right. And certain parts of the area of the body. So our shoulders hold overwhelming obligations, old roles and responsibilities. Our throat holds emotional memory of knowing what to say.
[05:54] But we held our words back. Anyway, that gets triggered by supervisors at work, an overbearing spouse, an overbearing parent, things like that. When we have tension in our stomach.
[06:04] Aleya Harris: Wait, hold on before you get to the stomach, because I may or may not have a lot of tension in my chest and heart area. So, you know, hypothetically what would that be, Brett?
[06:16] Not.
[06:16] Brett Cotter: So that's my area too.
[06:17] Aleya Harris: Personal session.
[06:19] Brett Cotter: Yeah, that's my area too. So every time I get stressed, that's usually the area that holds the tension. So I put my hand there, I breathe into it, and that's my first two steps when I'm addressing it in the moment.
[06:32] Right.
[06:33] Aleya Harris: And then I express the generational like you were talking about, like the. The different types of things held.
[06:39] Brett Cotter: What.
[06:39] Aleya Harris: What's being held there in the chest?
[06:41] Brett Cotter: Fear of being disconnected from love. Oh, it's an illusion. It's an illusion.
[06:46] Aleya Harris: Don't know me. Stop talking to me. I'm going back on mute.
[06:51] Brett Cotter: So the tension in the heart. You're hilarious. Is when we're under the illusion that we are separated from love. And the fear is at the bottom level, sadness is above that, and the anger is on the top of that.
[07:04] So that's the layers of those emotions. The real key is getting to the fear of abandonment, fear of being alone. When we express all that, we can open up to self love almost immediately.
[07:17] Aleya Harris: Well, we're gonna be talking about that. We don't have time to unearth all of my self love and abandonment issues on this particular podcast, but might need to revisit. Do continue, though, because I asked you three questions.
[07:30] Brett Cotter: Yes. So that was why it's in the body.
[07:34] Aleya Harris: Yes.
[07:34] Brett Cotter: Right. Because that's where everything's stored. It's like a library.
[07:37] How do we get. How do we let it out? We express it. So we touch the tension. When you're stressed, if your spouse triggers you, your kids, your parents, supervisor, colleague, whatever it is touc the tension.
[07:48] Now you're touching the cellular memories. Start breathing deeply and slowly and imagine the airflow moving through the center of the tension within you. And now you start expressing your feelings.
[07:59] When you're expressing your feelings, you're actually healing. And when the tears start to flow, that is a sign that you are letting go.
[08:09] The key is expressing to release, not expressing to feel like you're overwhelmed or like you're a victim to this emotion.
[08:20] When you're expressing to release, it's almost like smoke coming out of the chimney and the breeze just kind of takes it away, and you actually feel the layers of tension release from your body as you're expressing.
[08:32] Aleya Harris: So I love the way universe works. Let me just be like me and God, like we big kick it. And clearly they were listening to me because last night I'm sitting on the couch while my daughter has her iPad and I sat down and I kid you not, Brett, I was about to turn on the TV and I put.
[08:50] I had my hand on my heart where I already told you my. My issues are. And I just started crying and I heard the voice of Spirit go, but what if you just let go?
[09:03] Very clearly. But what if you just let go, Let go. And that's when I started crying. And so what you're saying is quite exactly literally what Spirit told me last night, they had to pose it as a hypothetical because otherwise I'd be like pushing back and pushing back and pushing back.
[09:22] But what if. What if we just play a little game with our little emotional self? What if you just let go? And then I let go. So it's something that, from what I'm hearing, Spirit naturally calls us to do, but it's.
[09:35] I don't think that very many of us know our way around. And I didn't know what the heck was happening. I didn't know I was going to get to talk to you today.
[09:41] Right. You were going to explain the entire thing that just happened on my couch last night while my daughter's watching Cocomelon.
[09:48] So this is fabulous. I am so intrigued by this.
[09:53] Brett Cotter: The. The part of you that is one with the universe. Jedi mind tricked you. Jedi mind tricked your ego into letting go.
[10:00] And the only issue humanity has is we identify with these emotions as they're coming up to release.
[10:09] And the universe sent you the perfect words. The part of you that's one with the universe sent you the perfect words to let the light bulb go off. What if.
[10:17] What if you were meant to let go right now? What if you're a good person? What if you're worthy of love? What if you're worthy of a compatible soulmate? What if you're worthy of a great relationship with your spouse?
[10:28] What if you are all the greatness in the universe packed into this beautiful body. Body what if? So that what if is like an open ended statement where your brain gets to fill in the blank and usually it fills it in with something beautiful.
[10:42] Aleya Harris: And it certainly did. And so last night I had the. I literally felt it was interesting because I cried, I let go. And then all of a sudden my body gets bloated, my stomach hurts, and it's like I could feel shift, all the stuff shifting around, right?
[10:59] And like me and. Me and Universe are good ayahuasca ceremonies. I had physical manifestations. So it wasn't. I wasn't surprised or shocked, but I was like, okay, clearly this is a road I need to explore more.
[11:11] Like when I'm not Also listening to, like the wheels on the bus in the background happening. But can you tell people a little bit more of why this is important?
[11:23] Why are those physical shifts that are caused by the emotional body important for us to truly step out as who we're meant to be?
[11:34] Brett Cotter: So the body is the bullseye.
[11:38] Okay, so mental health, all these, you know, like, emotional issues, suicidal ideation, all this is a problem because we're looking in the wrong place. We're trying to figure this out through the mind.
[11:50] All mental illness starts with matters of the heart. If you dial into your body, you know that book, your body Keeps the score? There's a gazillion different books about this.
[12:01] Your body holds the cellular memories that get stirred up like a stressful stew every time something triggers you. So you could either deal with the trigger, which is just the surface, but if you want to dive down into the body and go below the surface to where the source of the issue is,
[12:20] that's what we do. When we touch, we breathe, we. We express and then we receive. And when we express all the heaviness, we create open space for our spirit, our own divine life force, energy to take root and anchor back into the body.
[12:37] Aleya Harris: I love that touch, breathe, express, receive. Those are four super simple things that we can do to tune in, tap in, turn on it. It reminds me of a quote from Caroline Miss.
[12:52] Your biography becomes your biology. Have you ever heard that quote before?
[12:56] Brett Cotter: I never heard that, but I absolutely believe it.
[12:59] Aleya Harris: Absolutely. I mean, I'm a Caroline Miss fan. Anybody that can help me be a better Alaya Harris, I'm all for.
[13:08] So we talked about this in relationship to kind of like general principles. Me on the couch.
[13:16] What does this have to do with me getting on stage?
[13:22] Brett Cotter: Being on stage brings up a ton of fears. Fears of being seen, fears of being worthy of being seen, fears of receiving love. Right? Because are we going to receive the love?
[13:32] Are we good enough to receive the love? And adoration from the audience?
[13:36] And it's not even about that. It's really about what we can share.
[13:41] Can we connect?
[13:43] Those are the two questions. And the answer to both of those is, yes, we can connect and we can share. And then the real question is underneath it, what's our purpose?
[13:53] What's our mission? Why do we come here?
[13:57] What's our legacy?
[13:59] What's our most important message? And what's the biggest problem to the folks in the audience?
[14:05] What brought us together at that moment?
[14:09] And to me, when we start to dial into that, into the moment, that's when we really get an opportunity to create a beautiful oneness and rapport with the audience where we're just reflecting reality off of each other in a beautiful exchange.
[14:25] And we're bringing each other through a journey together, hand in hand.
[14:30] So for me,
[14:32] going on stage, being seen, whether you're going on a radio show, a summit, a podcast, anything,
[14:40] it's really about settling into your skin and expressing what's going on. So I'll give you a quick example. A few years ago, we were having one of our biggest retreats.
[14:50] Over the last couple years, our retreats were doubling every year at the Omega Institute. And I think it was two summers ago. It was our biggest one. And it was the night before I was going to leave, and I was full of anxiety,
[15:03] and I decided to go for a run. I went for a jog. And then I just decided to start expressing my feelings.
[15:10] And then the fear popped out, said, I'm afraid.
[15:15] And then I heard perfectly, like from the universe, it's okay to be afraid. And then all of my attention, all my attention in the chest just released.
[15:27] And then something beautiful happened. I told you I was running.
[15:31] I said, I'm afraid. I got real with my emotions. And then I heard, it's okay to be afraid. I stopped running. And right as I stopped running, there was this beautiful black butterfly on the ground just sitting there at my foot, right where I stopped running.
[15:45] And I'm like, this is weird. So I put my finger next to it. It climbed on my finger, and then I put it on my shirt.
[15:52] The thing came home with me. It was a beautiful black butterfly with some fluorescent blue in it. I think it was like a tiger lily tail butterfly.
[15:59] So it stayed with me. I put it in this little bowl with some water and some lettuce. Overnight, it stayed in my slept right next to me on my nightstand.
[16:08] I brought it into my morning meditation. I showed the people in our meditation group the butterfly. Then I was working later on that day, and I decided to put it outside in our garden.
[16:18] So I put it outside in our garden. Later on in the afternoon, I go to check on it. It's on the floor. It's dead. So what did I start doing?
[16:24] I started crying because this thing was my friend. This thing, when mother Nature comes to me and it. It comes to me as like, a friend, like that. I take it so to heart.
[16:34] So I express my sadness, right? I went through the emotional car wash of letting the tears flow, letting the pain go. And then I decided to research these little things, and they only live for three weeks when I found it, it was on its last leg, it was on its last day.
[16:50] And I let him hang out with me or her hang out with me for another, you know, 30 hours or so. So that was an amazing experience. And it all came down to embracing the fear in my body, expressing it, and then being open, just like you were to the universe.
[17:07] Being open, that what if statement.
[17:09] And I just heard, it's okay. It's okay to be afraid. And right there, that opened the gateway for compassion to my fear. And then my fear released. So when our heart opens to the fear in our body, even if the fear is in the heart, if your heart opens to receive some of that love and know that it's okay to feel that way,
[17:28] it's okay to be depressed today. It's okay to feel this way right now, right? That you're not it forever. I'm not depressed. I am feeling some depression right now. I'm feeling some sadness right now, right?
[17:41] Just sticking in the moment. And I allow myself to be here in this moment and then I allow my heart to open up. And then we start to receive some of the unconditional love that we were made of.
[17:52] And it flows right into the fear.
[17:54] And then it starts to unwind it so we could fully be here.
[17:58] And that, to me is the most important thing when we're dealing with stage fright. To express our feelings, to touch the tension, breathe into it, and then come back to a mantra, right?
[18:11] Say it's okay, but then come back to a mantra like, I got this. I'm going to have fun with this. I'm one with the audience.
[18:19] This is already done.
[18:22] I'm going to have fun doing it,
[18:24] right? Whatever your mantras are, to bring you back into the moment and then go with it, give it your best shot.
[18:32] Aleya Harris: I love that. That was a gift for me. I know what I'm doing when I'm stopping this recording. I'm having both of my hands on my chest, breathing and crying. So don't.
[18:42] If, like, if you have a meeting with me, I don't know how you would know this because this recording is coming out afterwards. But I'm probably going to cancel it because I got some work to do.
[18:49] Brett gave me some immediate homework. It feels very to me, but I'm going to unseed this. We're right now at the 15 minute mark in this recording. I told Brett when we started recording Brett, this is going to be the one where the whole episode's going to be 15 minutes like I promised.
[19:03] My. My listeners. This is not going to be the one, Brett, because I still have another question.
[19:09] Because when. When you were speaking, I heard the voice of my students in my head first spark the stage. And people that are getting on stage and they say things to mean like, oh, but you, Aleyah, you have the energy.
[19:23] Or you, Aleyah, you are connected. Are you. Your practice at this. Me, I'm not connected. Or you, Brett, you have a whole, like, retreat. You're spiritual.
[19:37] Brett Cotter: Whatever.
[19:39] Aleya Harris: Whatever that means, right?
[19:41] What do you do with people who say, how do you know? How do you know that I can connect? How do you know that I will get a response? How do you know that this will work for me?
[19:58] What is your response to that?
[20:01] Brett Cotter: Follow your heart and do what you want to do. The thing is, why do you want to do this? Do you have a message to share or you just want to be seen and loved by people that don't know you yet, Right?
[20:11] Like, dig deep. Are you doing it for attention or do you have a mission to get some words out of your mouth to help people? Right? So how deep is your purpose?
[20:21] How in tune are you with your purpose? If you in tune with your purpose, and you'll feel it in the central column of your being when you're playing with it, when you're using it, when you're tapping into it, when you're writing about it,
[20:33] all the cells in your body come alive.
[20:35] Do that to the day you die.
[20:38] When you're tapped into your purpose, do it to the day you die. That's not to say about that, but soul search. Why do I want to do this?
[20:46] Right? Who's it better for?
[20:49] Right? Why did my soul come here?
[20:52] Where do I want my legacy to be? These are all things that I try to dial in to make sure I'm always going towards that light at the end of the tunnel, that all of my activities, every step is going towards that.
[21:00] If you are going towards that and you're walking your purpose.
[21:04] There was an interview with Taylor Swift on Jimmy Fallon, remember many years ago when she first got big, and he said, what about all the young artists that want to be like you?
[21:13] She said,
[21:14] the one yes you get has to fuel you through the next 99 nos.
[21:22] And then that next yes has to fuel you through the next 99 nos. Now, I personally feel when we're in alignment with the universe and our truth and our purpose, things start to line up.
[21:33] But your subconscious mind knows, needs to know, that you're not full of it, that you're really Committing to it. Once your subconscious mind buys in through looking at your daily actions and your daily routine, that's how your subconscious gonna buy into your vision.
[21:48] When it knows that you're legit and you're real about this, then the universe is gonna start to line up with you. Then it's not gonna be so difficult. Okay? But the subconscious, the universe, the deeper part of you needs to see that you're committed to it, that it's affecting your daily schedule.
[22:03] Meaning you're putting in time every day to your purpose and your mission. You can't fuel it. Once a year, once every six months. This is like a daily routine. Just like breathing, eating, brushing your teeth, taking a shower.
[22:13] This is what you do.
[22:16] So that I feel, is really important. And then you're already part of it. You're already it. Like the light that you turn on in your lamp, right? That little switch, that's the same electricity that's in the power plant,
[22:29] okay? There's just a transformer on the street. Then there's a panel in your house. It's the same electricity coming right through to that light bulb. So you and the person you think like a Tony Robbins or a Deepak Chopra or whoever, right?
[22:43] Oprah Winfrey. Oh, they really got it. No, you're the same thing. We're all the same thing. We're all conscious life force energy. That's the glue of the universe. Conscious life force energy.
[22:54] And you got it. It's just a matter of how much you want to nurture it, tap into it and express it. That's it.
[23:00] To me, I had to let go of everything I learned.
[23:06] Aleya Harris: That's what many of us have to do. Let go, unlearn, and just be open. Rather than thinking that we already know the answers to really anything.
[23:18] Brett Cotter: Truthfully, the master in you is going to come through in the moment. Right. It's just a matter of showing up to the moment, meeting the universe halfway, showing up.
[23:28] Right. And then letting go. I've started many talks. Nervous, Right.
[23:33] You know my trick for that? I do a breathing exercise with the audience to music in the first one minute. Then everyone's laughing and having a good time.
[23:43] Aleya Harris: Including you.
[23:44] Brett Cotter: Yeah. Most importantly, because I'm the vessel that it's coming through. So if I'm anxious that the gate becomes narrower and narrower, but when I'm relaxed, ooh, it's wide open.
[23:56] You know, a month ago, we were in the. On paradise island in the Bahamas. I spoke the day before Deepak Chopra took the same stage in front of the same Audience.
[24:07] And there was swamis and yogis in this audience.
[24:11] And I tricked swamis into doing the twist to the Beatles.
[24:18] Swamis aren't supposed to be dancing, okay? But I use movement music,
[24:26] the breath work, and then I throw in a little bit of a twinkle in the eye to get people to do things, to open up. And then all of a sudden they're there and they're dancing, and they didn't realize it happened.
[24:36] Right? So it's the loose.
[24:38] The looser I am the looser the audience could be,
[24:42] Right?
[24:44] And that audience, that place, that venue had the most rules I've ever encountered in a speaking engagement.
[24:51] Right. Normally, I'm from New York. Normally my lingo is a little bit all over the road. I couldn't even say heck.
[25:00] But it was awesome. It was an awesome learning experience for me.
[25:04] It was a great learning experience for me to be on that path and still find the openness in it. And when the openness came through, it was amazing,
[25:13] you know? So I encourage people to prepare,
[25:19] get out there and take your best shot. And in the moments where you don't know what's going to happen next,
[25:26] revel in it. Take a few breaths, because you'll see. In my talks,
[25:31] I wait for the inspiration to come through. I just don't let my monkey mind chatterbox away because the audience is used to that. And then the biggest feedback I get is that that was so real.
[25:42] Usually people just come here and they're talking and I've gotten this feedback on many different stages. And then the audience is listening or they're floating away. Right.
[25:51] And my experience is engaging, and I wait for the next moment to open up. I'm patient in the moment, which is scary. But as I'm breathing and releasing my own tension, more ease starts to come into the room.
[26:07] And the more ease I show up there with my body language,
[26:11] the more receptive the audience becomes.
[26:17] Aleya Harris: Well, I feel like I just got a masterclass in speaking in humanity. That was amazing. Amazing.
[26:27] Brett Cotter: Thank you. Aaliyah.
[26:28] Aleya Harris: I normally say, is there anything you wanna leave us with? But I think I'm still digesting all of the things that you have already left us with. So I'm just going to ask you the final question of where can people find you to connect with you?
[26:41] Brett Cotter: Oh. Stressisgone.com we have an amazing women's retreat coming up at the end of this month at the Himalayan Institute in Pennsylvania. We have a weekend option and a five day option.
[26:52] It's amazing. And then we also have a mentorship program where I actually train and certify suicide prevention specialists, trauma recovery coaches, meditation teachers, and then people in my own self care method.
[27:04] Aleya Harris: That is wonderful. Stressisgone.com that is an amazing URL by the way.
[27:10] Brett Cotter: Thank you. Thank you.
[27:12] Aleya Harris: Well Brett, this has been a joy, a pleasure and a blessing. Thank you so much for joining us here today.
[27:19] Brett Cotter: This was amazing. Your questions and your authenticity, I feel brought out the best in me in this moment. So thank you so much for providing it and holding the space for this.
[27:27] You're amazing. It was awesome.
[27:32] Aleya Harris: You think I'm joking when I say I'm canceling my afternoon to put my heart in my hand and cry and receive? I'm not joking. I've been under so much stress recently and I really do need to heed Spirit's call to let go.
[27:51] And so, man, every time I think like, oh, maybe this podcast has run its course, we're in season five. I should just, you know, let it go. I have an episode like this that I record where it becomes Spirit's personal way of talking to me.
[28:11] Spirit's personal way of telling me as Aleyah Harris, that everything is going to be okay and here's the tools that will help you. And golly, I hope that you feel the same.
[28:22] I hope that you get exactly what you need out of these podcasts because they are not directed by me. Yeah, I know I'm the one directing the questions, but they're for sure not directed by me.
[28:34] Especially not the timing of when the guests come on or what they say. They're fully directed by Spirit. So get what you need, use it, transform your life, feel better, make money, get on stage.
[28:49] And to that I wish you all the love, light and and abundance that I possibly can from me, Alayah Harris and the Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast. Until next time. Bye for now.
[29:05] Yuliya Patsay: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast with Alayah Harris. Vibing with what you hear, Leave a five star review to spread the love and be sure to click subscribe we wish you love, light and abundance.
[29:21] See you next time.
[29:24] Aleya Harris: Sa.
